


till sunbeams find you

by lotts (LottieAnna)



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Friends to Lovers, Insomnia, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-19
Updated: 2017-12-14
Packaged: 2019-02-04 08:15:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,129
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12766833
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LottieAnna/pseuds/lotts
Summary: Mitch has a plan, and it starts here.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> IF YOU FOUND THIS THROUGH GOOGLING, KNOW ANYONE MENTIONED IN THIS STORY PERSONALLY, OR ARE MENTIONED YOURSELF: please, please click away. This is a work of fiction and nothing written in this story is true. Any accurate information used in this story is publicly available information about public figures, the rest is made up, 100%
> 
> this is an old thing i dug up and finished because i'm still recovering from the fact that we got two mitch/auston goals last night, and their subsequent cellys were everything we could have hoped for. totally unbeta'd so i apologize for any typos. this is more or less nothing. maybe a bit of a character study? title from "dream a little dream of me." enjoy!

 

Mitch can’t sleep.

It’s annoying, because Mitch usually has no trouble at all falling asleep. He’s an athlete, which means he’s pretty much professionally exhausted, and unlike Auston, he’s not an idiot who drinks coffee at, like, dinnertime, and then stays up late looking at memes or whatever.

Except Mitch is awake, and Auston’s passed out ungracefully, taking up more space than is polite. Which makes sense. This is Auston’s bed, and he’s not any more used to Mitch being here than Mitch is.

He sighs, and weighs his options. The covers are too hot, and he just kind of wants to get out of this bed, except he really, really doesn’t wanna wake Auston up. It would be rude, and also, Mitch regularly makes it his business to make Auston go to sleep early. It’s, like, 50% of his text conversations with Brownie,

Well, at least now he knows that Auston will fall asleep really fucking fast after sex. That’s definitely useful information.

For Mitch, not for Brownie.

Mitch doesn’t want Brownie to have sex with Auston, at least at any point in the near future, because Mitch kind of wants sex with Auston to be a thing that stays a Mitch-and-Auston thing.

And like, that’s why he’s here in the first place, trying and failing to fall asleep in a bed that’s starting to feel inexplicably itchy. Mitch had made a very conscious decision to stay the night, because this thing with Auston has been building for months, and honestly, the only reason it hasn’t graduated from being a thing to being A Thing™ is because of Mitch’s weird hangups. It kind of freaks him out, too, because he’s done a lot of fucking work to get past those hangups. Mitch has a plan, and it starts here, except he can’t even fall asleep in the bed of the guy he’s just had really awesome sex with. He’s bone-tired, and god, he _wants_ to, but every time he tries, he can’t get comfortable, and he doesn’t know when the last time he was actually comfortable even was, and it’s just – it’s bad.

He squeezes his eyes shut and tries one last time, anyway.

And, nope, he can’t, and he’s starting to wonder if beds have always been this terrible and he’s just never noticed.  

It’s a sign. It’s gotta be a sign, right? If he can’t stand to share a bed with him, he doesn’t know how he’s going to start, like, actually dating him. There are people who share their beds with literal strangers. _Mitch_ has shared his bed with – well, not strangers, because he’s enough in the public eye and has some sense of self-preservation, but with people he doesn’t know particularly well outside of sex, or even care that much about.

Or, at least, people he doesn’t care about as much as he cares about Auston.

And now he’s starting to think that this was just one giant fucking mistake, because Mitch had really thought there was nothing to second guess here. He’s, like, obsessed with Auston, honestly, and he knows that Auston’s obsessed with him right back. Auston’s been giving him these long, purposeful looks for months, and god, Mitch sees things now, like the way Auston lights up when Mitch tells a joke, or the way the tops of his cheeks turn red when Mitch throws his legs across his lap.

Mitch had thought he wasn’t being selfish, and that he hasn’t been stringing Auston along for months, but now, who the fuck knows, because he wouldn’t be second guessing this if it was as simple as liking Auston and taking a bit to catch onto that.

He shifts in the bed and throws an arm across his face, and it must be a bigger motion than he thinks, because Auston rolls over in his sleep until his leg accidentally bumps Mitch’s. Mitch watches as Auston’s eyes drift open, and Mitch can see the exact moment that he sleepily processes that Mitch is here, because he puts his hand on the bed close to Mitch’s and does this small, satisfied smile before closing his eyes again and going back to sleep.

Mitch stares, because Auston is still smiling, and it’s absolutely, without a doubt, the cutest sight Mitch has ever seen. Auston’s body is warm with sleep, and he’s kind of tucked away more, a bit closer to Mitch but less sprawled out, and Mitch might feel actual tears prickling at the corners of his eyes, because he’s just so overwhelmed with how fucking sweet Auston looks.

And it’s because Mitch is here. It’s because Mitch _wants_ to be here, and is choosing to be here, and just, like, the existence of Mitch in Auston’s space is making Auston so goddamn happy.

Auston really, really wants Mitch to be here, and Mitch really, really wants to be here.

So Mitch doesn’t know why he can’t sleep, because he’s so sure that spending the night here is the right choice.

He bites back a sigh and throws his legs over the edge of the bed, then puts his face in his palms, rubbing at his eyes. He should probably, like, go into the bathroom, or something, because Auston really does need sleep, and Mitch squirming around in the bed probably won’t help with that.

Then, he hears a vague, groaning noise, followed by, “Marns?”

“Hey,” Mitch whispers, turning to look over his shoulder. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“Are you leaving?” Auston’s tone is more sleepy than anything else, but the question makes Mitch frown anyway.

“No, don’t worry about it,” Mitch says.

“I’ll do what I want,” Auston grumbles, and Mitch smiles a little bit.

“Alright.”

“Seriously, don’t leave,” Auston says, and he sounds a little more awake.

“I know,” Mitch says, and then he sighs. “I wasn’t planning on it, promise.”

“You sure?”

“I’ve already been here for hours, so,” Mitch says. “If I was gonna leave, I would’ve done it by now.”

Auston sits up a little. “Hours? What time is it?”

Mitch shrugs, then reaches onto Auston’s nightstand and grabs his phone. “It’s… 3:56,” he says. “In the morning.”

“I fell asleep?”

“Yep.”

“Did you?”

Mitch shakes his head, then moves to bring one leg up onto the bed, while the other hangs off the edge of the bed still, kicking nervously. “I beat 6 levels of Candy Crush.”

“That’s a lot,” Auston says. “Did you… like, if you really don’t want to stay, you can go.”

“You just told me not to leave,” Mitch says. “A few seconds ago.”

“I mean, that was more me saying that I want you to stay,” Auston says. “Just – so you didn’t think I didn’t want you to.”

“I didn’t think that,” Mitch says.

“Oh,” Auston says. “Uh, that’s good, then.” He sounds embarrassed, though, and Mitch rolls his eyes.

“I mean, I just can’t sleep, is all,” Mitch says. “I didn’t want to wake you up.”

“So you were going to leave,” Auston says.

“No,” Mitch says. “I was gonna, like – I dunno. Chill somewhere else until I was tired, or the sun came up, or whatever.”

“You wouldn’t make it til sunrise,” Auston says, and he’s definitely, like, actually awake now.

“Seriously, dude, go back to sleep, I’ll be fine,” Mitch says.

Auston shrugs. “I got, like, four hours, and we don’t have to be up early tomorrow.”

“Now I’m gonna feel guilty about keeping both of us up,” Mitch complains.

“Nah,” Auston says. “I’m a pro at not sleeping, dude.”

“Okay, but – whatever,” Mitch says, sighing. “You can do what you want.” He knows he’s coming across as grumpy, and that it’s definitely not justified, and he hates it so much.

Auston, because he’s apparently just a fucking saint, is unphased by it. “I mean, is it like, you’re just not tired?”

“I am,” Mitch says. “I just – I can’t get comfortable?”

“Alright,” Auston says. “I mean, I can crash on the couch, if you think that’s the problem.”

Mitch blinks. “Dude, what the fuck, it’s your apartment.”

“I know, but – if it would help?” Auston sounds hesitant.

“You’re literally way too nice,” Mitch says. “That’s way too nice, what the fuck.”

“Too much time in Canada,” Auston deadpans, and Mitch laughs, then lies back down on the bed, over the covers. The air conditioning is starting to go from pleasantly cool to chilly, but Mitch doesn’t really wanna fuss with blankets right now.

“Maybe,” Mitch says. “I don’t know, man, I just can’t sleep. I probably just, like, had caffeine by accident.”

“How?” Auston asks.

Mitch shrugs, looking up at the ceiling. “I mean, you drink a lot of coffee, and I did suck your dick, so.”

Auston makes this weird strangled choking sound before bursting out in too-loud, uncontrollable laughter, and Mitch smiles, pleased with himself.

“Jesus,” Auston says, kinda gasping still. “I’m pretty sure that’s not how that works.”

“I don’t know, it could be,” Mitch says.

Auston gets weirdly quiet for a second, like he’s thinking, and then he says, “I mean, it could be… not the caffeine thing, but, like, the blowjob thing.” He blushes. “I mean the – you know.”

Mitch feels his face go hot, and kind of gulps. “I mean,” he says, “Okay, so, that’s – I don’t–”

“Like, it’s okay if you’re not–”

“I’m not _not–”_

“Wait, so you–”

“I – god, okay, one of us needs to finish a sentence,” Mitch says.

“Right,” Auston says, nodding. “Alright. You go.”

“Cool,” Mitch says. “I, um, don’t know if – like, I was gonna try talk about it in the morning.”

“It is kind of the morning,” Auston says.

“We’re both tired,” Mitch says. “We should wait until we’ve gotten some sleep.”

“If you want,” Auston says.

“Is that what you want?”

Auston shrugs, which means it’s not.

“Dude,” Mitch says. “If you wanna talk now, we can.”

“It’s not that I want to, I just think we should,” Auston says, and Mitch nods.

“Okay,” Mitch says. “Then we will.”

“Fine,” Auston says.

There are a few seconds of silence, and then Mitch says, “Which one of us is going first?”

“I should,” Auston says. “It’s just – I dunno, I just have questions, I guess?”

“Yeah, makes sense,” Mitch says.

“Like – like, don’t get me wrong, that was, uh, good, but – you kissed me? And it sort of – I dunno. I wasn’t expecting it, I guess.”

“I mean,” Mitch says. “I was gonna say something first, but then you were just – I dunno.”

“Couldn’t keep your hands off me?” Auston says, and Mitch gives him a small shove.

“Shut up,” Mitch says. “Like you haven’t been making ‘fuck me’ eyes at me for forever.” He regrets it as soon as he says it, because it’s maybe a mean thing to say, or at least sounds kind of mean in context.

Auston purses his lips for a second, and his face is momentarily inscrutable, but then he just shrugs. “I would’ve stopped if you hadn’t liked it.”

“Well, I did like it,” Mitch says.

Auston snorts. “No shit.”

Mitch shoves him, gentle. “I mean – okay, so, I didn’t really know, for a bit, that I liked you back.”

“Who says I like you?” Auston asks, and for a fraction of a second Mitch thinks he might roll off the bed, onto the floor, out the door, and all the way back to his place, but then Auston says, “That was a joke.”

“Figured,” Mitch lies.

“I do,” Auston says. “Like you, I mean.” He pauses. “I guess you figured that out.”

“I thought I was… being selfish, at first,” Mitch says. “Because, like, I didn’t know, but I sort of… thought that you might? And I didn’t wanna lead you on, but I also just really, really didn’t want it to stop.”

“Oh,” Auston says. “I just thought you didn’t know you were doing it.”

“Doing what?” Mitch asks.

“Y’know,” Auston says. “Flirting and stuff.”

“I mean, I wasn’t… it wasn’t that I was trying to? I don’t know, it was confusing,” Mitch says.

“So how did you, uh, figure it out?” Auston asks.

“Well,” Mitch says, “We were out after a game, and this girl was talking to you, and like – you know how when you see someone doing something that you’re, like, better at, and you wanna just do it for them?”

“You mean like you are, with Candy Crush?”

“Like you would be if there was anyone else who still played Temple Run,” Mitch says, not missing a beat. “But, uh, it was like that, except it was with her, flirting with you. She was just– doing it wrong, and it was pissing me off. I like, had to leave early, it was so bad. Mo was really worried.”

“Was that in LA?” Auston asks. “That was a month ago.”

“Yeah,” Mitch says.

“So why did it take you a month to make a move?”

Mitch rolls his eyes. “I don’t know, why did you not make a move ever?”

“I thought you were straight,” Auston says.

Mitch shoots up at that. “Wait, what?”

“Well, you never told me otherwise.”

“How did you not – I make so many jokes about going both ways, dude. Like, so many.”

“And I get that now,” Auston says.

Mitch laughs, and it’s maybe a little much, but really – “Dude, your defense mechanisms are wild, holy shit.”

“Thanks,” Auston says sarcastically, smiling a little bit, even though Mitch thinks he’s trying to sound annoyed.

“I’m definitely not straight,” Mitch says. “In case you couldn’t figure that out.”

“No, yeah, I realize,” Auston says.

“Awesome,” Mitch says. “So, we’re both into dudes.”

“Yep.”

“And we’re both into each other,” Mitch says. “So, uh, we should – figure out what to do about that.”

“I mean,” Auston says. “We had sex, which is probably, like, a good start. We could do more of that.”

“Okay, but, like, usually people who are having sex with each other call it something.”

“Like–“ Auston bites his lip. “We don’t have to label it.”

“Do you not want to?” Mitch asks.

Auston takes a beat before answering. “I guess – do we wanna, like, also – y’know, besides sex, just, like, hang out?”

“I mean, we hang out all the time,” Mitch says, and because he’s read, like, six articles on clear communication, he adds, “But we could also, like, go on dates, if that’s what you’re saying.” He pauses, then says, “If you want to, I mean.”

“Uh,” Auston says. “Do… you want to?”

“I mean, yeah,” Mitch says, blushing a bit, but he tries to ignore the butterflies in his stomach and keep his voice light. “I didn’t spend a month on an emotional rollercoaster just to get some no-strings-attached sex out of it.”

“An emotional rollercoaster?” Auston says, and he’s smiling this weird, new smile, like it’s beyond his control and just, like, happening to his face.

It’s pretty fucking awesome.

“Oh man, you don’t even know,” Mitch says, grinning. “I had advising committees. Groupchats were renamed.”

“Sounds hardcore,” Auston says, and he has this _look_ on his face that’s so – just, happy, almost glowing, and Mitch suddenly feels like he’s going to vibrate out of his skin if he doesn’t touch Auston soon, so he lies down and rests his head on Auston’s chest.

“This seemed like a hardcore kind of thing,” Mitch says.

“So you want–”

“To date you,” Mitch says. “Yeah. Kind of a lot, I think.”

“Okay,” Auston says, and Mitch can’t see his face, but he’s pretty sure Auston’s smiling. “So I guess we’re doing that, then.”

“We are?” Mitch says, and it’s just – it’s dumb, because the moment itself isn’t really anything, but his heart skips a beat, and his face does this too-happy thing where he’s pretty sure he couldn’t stop smiling if he tried, and if Auston weren’t really fucking comfortable right now, he’d probably leap out of the bed and, like, twirl, or something.

“What, like I was gonna say no?” Auston says, laughing.

“Fuck you, let me be happy,” Mitch says, and then he turns over to kiss Auston, who’s already tugging him in.

“I know,” Auston says, his smile right up against Mitch’s. “I’m happy too.”

“Good,” Mitch says.

Auston closes his eyes and hums. “I’m tired, though.”

“Go to sleep,” Mitch says, firm. “I’ll be here when you wake up, I promise.”

“You better be,” Auston says, and Mitch moves so Auston can lie down properly again. “Like, metaphorically. Do what you gotta do to sleep, man.”

“Alright,” Mitch says, and watches as Auston reaches out to squeeze Mitch’s hand before closing his eyes.

Mitch takes a deep breath, and then he shuts his eyes and smiles, letting the last few minutes sink in. When he opens them, he takes one more look at Auston, then climbs under the covers, because he’s very cold, all of a sudden, and Auston looks warm.

“Hey,” Mitch says, nudging Auston. “C’mere.”

Auston blinks his eyes open, gives Mitch a small smile, and tucks himself into Mitch as Mitch puts an arm around him.

“This is nice,” Auston says.

It’s still a little too warm, and Mitch doesn’t think he’s quite tired, but he’s comfortable like this, which is a step up from earlier, and so he lets his eyes fall shut and breathes, content.


	2. prequel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cw for brief mention of religious, discussions of jealousy

To say Mitch isn’t religious is, like, the understatement of the century. He doesn’t think he’s been to church since he was 8, because his parents never really pushed for it, and he knows there’s somewhere they go for the holidays, can picture the building and everything, but he can’t even remember if it’s Catholic or Protestant or what. But, like, even skipping Sunday School, or whatever, he knows what kind of thoughts he should and shouldn’t be having about his friend and teammate, and the thoughts he’s having right now fall solidly into the ‘shouldn’t’ column, and it’s not even in the fun way.

“What’s confession?” Mitch asks Marty.

Marty furrows his brow, gives Mitch a weird look. “It’s when you go to the priest–”

“No, I know that, but, like, who goes to confession? Catholics?” Mitch asks.

“Yeah,” Marty says. “Or just sinners, I guess.”

“So I’m a candidate,” Mitch says, putting his head on the table in his latest attempt to stop staring across the room at Auston.

Marty rubs at his back consolingly, and Mitch turns his head just enough to see that he looks very concerned. “You got something to fess up to, kid?”

“Nothing major,” Mitch says, then tucks his face back into his arm. “Just standard stuff. Greed, or envy, or whatever it’s called.”

“I’m pretty sure those are two separate sins,” Marty says.

“What, are you a religious expert now or something?” Mitch says, the snap in his voice definitely unwarranted, but apparently he’s an asshole who thinks strange, possessive things about the friend he’s been leading on for months, so he figures he might as well lean into it.

“Nah,” Marty says, good-natured, because he’s got the patience of a saint. “Just picked up a few things over the years. If your big problem is just feeling jealous, though, I wouldn’t worry too much about it.”

“But I shouldn’t be jealous,” Mitch says. “It’s, like, messed up that I am.”

“Well, what are you jealous of?” Marty asks.

Mitch sighs, then nods his head in Auston’s direction before face-planting into the table again. He kind of bangs his nose against it, but he figures it’s what he deserves.

“Ah,” Marty says. “That situation.”

“I’m the worst,” Mitch says. “I’m going to hell. To hell’s hell. Are there levels of hell? Because I’m going to the worst one.”

“The one with the murderers?” Marty says. “I’m pretty sure you’d be a bit out of place there.”

“Well, maybe this is the start of my villain origin story,” Mitch says. “Maybe greed is a gateway sin.”

“Bud, you’re not evil because you’re jealous of your friend for hitting on someone. It happens,” Marty says.

“But–” Mitch lifts his head off the table, but keeps staring at his hands, because Marty is nice – like, seriously, too nice – and if they’re gonna talk about this, Mitch doesn’t think he can look him in the eye. “It’s not just that.”

“Alright,” Marty says. “What is it, then?”

“It’s just – she’s doing it wrong,” MItch says.

“Who?”

“Her,” Mitch says. “She keeps going flirty when she should go funny, y’know? She hasn’t even gotten a laugh out of him, and she already went for the arm-touch.”

“Are you listening to their conversation? Do you have him bugged, or something?” Marty asks.

“Nah, just body language,” Mitch says, then rubs a hand over his face. “God, I’m so messed up.”

“Mitchy–”

“Like – I know he likes me,” Mitch says.  

There’s a beat of silence, and then Marty says, “He told you?”

Mitch shakes his head. “I figured it out, but – he does, right? For a while?”

Marty nods. “We were all wondering when you’d clue into it,” he says.

“He’s kind of obvious,” Mitch says, twirling his beer in his hands. “I realized a few months ago.”

“Oh, wow,” Marty say. “So you haven’t–”

“I kept hoping he wouldn’t say anything,” Mitch says. “And he didn’t, which was nice, except then I never got to – like, I didn’t mean to lead him on? But it sort of – like, it’s messed up, but it’s nice to be looked at like that, sometimes, and if he didn’t do anything about it, it’s not like I could really tell him to stop.”

“That all seems pretty fair to me,” Marty says.

“Sure, but now it’s like – he’s allowed to look at her like that, too, but I’m still thinking, like, ‘he liked me first,’ even though she’s definitely into him, while I’m–” he cuts himself off, sighs. “It’s fucked up.”

“So, what are you saying?” Marty says. “You don’t like him?”

Mitch bites his lip. “I’m saying – I would probably know if I did, right?”

“Maybe,” Marty says.

Mitch shakes his head. “No, I would. He’s one of my best friends, and I care about him a lot, and I just – I would know.”

“Sometimes it takes a while to figure these things out,” Marty says.

“Not… usually? Not for me, anyway,” Mitch says.

“Okay, well – listen. If you’re this torn up about it, then – stop me if I’m way off base – but it’s definitely… not nothing,” Marty says.

“I’m not saying it’s nothing, I’m saying it’s weird, possessive–”

“Mitchy,” Marty says. “Look, you’re a good kid, alright? I don’t think you’d be beating yourself up over this if you didn’t feel something in return.”

“But I’m not sure,” Mitch says.

“Okay, but you’re… curious?” Marty says.

Mitch takes a second. “That’s a good word, yeah.”

“Okay, well, that’s a start,” Marty says.

“But I just–” Mitch starts, but then he looks over at Auston for the first time in a few minutes, and his heart sinks when he sees Auston laughing, this full-body, bright, happy thing, and Mitch just – he hates that seeing Auston smile like that makes him so fucking angry, but it does, and Mitch knows that girl had probably said something really funny or cute to get Auston laughing like this, but still. It feels like she hasn’t earned it, which is fucked up, but it’s just – Auston is Mitch’s best friend, and his teammate, and maybe Mitch is selfish.

“Mitchy?” Marty says, and Mitch tears his eyes away from Auston, doesn’t really think as he stands up from the table and starts to gather his things.

“I’ve gotta get out of here,” Mitch says. “Uh, if anyone asks, I’m not feeling well. Tell Matty not to worry, or that I’ll be pissed if he leaves early ‘cause of me.”

“I’ll come with,” Marty says. “We should keep talking–”

“No,” Mitch says. “Stay, I’m – this was… informative.” He looks at Auston, who’s not laughing anymore, but the lingering grin on his face is making Mitch feel kind of sick. “You’re right, I think I do have some stuff to figure out.”

“Okay,” Marty says. “Do what you need to, man.”

“Thanks,” Mitch says. “Seriously, thank you.”

“No worries. This could be good, okay?” Marty says.

Mitch takes a deep breath. “Right. It could be, okay. I’ll text you.”

“Let me know if I can help any more,” Marty says.

Mitch nods, says goodbye and ignores the worried looks he gets as he makes his way out of the bar, because there’s a knot of guilt untangling in his stomach, revealing something a little less clear, a little less sinister, and a lot more terrifying underneath.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (originally posted this on [tumblr](https://lottswrites.tumblr.com/post/168252288599/same-anon-as-before-who-loved-the-mitchauston))

**Author's Note:**

> god i'm so bad at sleeping. 
> 
> [Come talk to me on tumblr,](https://lottswrites.tumblr.com/) or follow me on twitter @lottslottslotts


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